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Thursday, April 18, 2024

This $1000 Elder Scrolls wedding ring will guarantee a ‘no’

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Looking to propose to your significant other? Do they love games and wildly expensive, tacky jewellery? Well you’re in luck, because now you can ask your partner to marry you in style with a $1,000 ring from The Elder Scrolls Online.

The Ritual of Mara ring quietly appeared on Bethesda’s store a few days ago and is by far the most expensive bit of merch on offer. The ring is 10K yellow gold and, according to the product description, ‘polished to a mirror shine.’ There’s also an engraving on the inside of the band that reads ‘With this ring and Mara’s blessing.’ Mara is one of the nine divines in Elder Scrolls lore, and the goddess of love, marriage, and compassion. 

I know you must be chomping at the bit to get your hands on this exquisite piece, and the ring is available for pre-order until the 14th February, after which Bethesda said it’ll never return.

The Nordic style isn’t terrible per se, but the old-fashioned yellow gold and gaudy engraving is certainly an acquired taste (or as Bethesda puts it, the ring “carries a warm and soft yellow tone often used in historical old-world jewelry”).

If you, however, like the ring, then I apologise and make a peace offering. For those who want one but don’t fancy bankrupting themselves, Bethesda offers a more reasonably priced $85 sterling silver version. Or, y’know, just don’t get married: it’s much cheaper.

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