Well, well. Look what just rolled into the shop. It’s the planet Earth, which has successfully made yet another trip around the sun, added another 584 million miles to its odometer, and is in serious need of an oil change.
As we wrap up another year of PC gaming it’s always worthwhile taking a look back at the past 365 days to see what really stands out. Consider this an invitation to join us as we reminisce about the things that surprised, shocked, annoyed, and/or baffled us in the year of 2022. The best path to discovering these surprising moments isn’t by searching our memories—remembering stuff with your brain is soooo last century—but by searching PC Gamer’s Slack channel history to see how many times we typed “holy shit” over the past twelve months, and then recording what it was we said “holy shit” about.
Often our holy shits are about games, game trailers, or gaming news, but there are plenty of other things we say holy shit about, like pies, fakes popes, an AI depiction of Jay Leno dressed as Geralt of Rivia, the impending threat of total nuclear annihilation, and Korean BBQ.
Tim kicked off the new year by not only swearing but italicizing, after seeing a picture of Evan in fencing gear: “Holy shit it’s the lead character in a From Software French fencing game I never knew i wanted.” We’re off to a promising start!
Mollie is quick to follow a few days later, issuing a “holy shit” after Andy receives a press release about Dog the Bounty Hunter signing a deal to develop multiple games based on his persona. Call me a pessimist but I don’t think those games are gonna get made, and if they are, they’ll be filled with NFTs.
Morgan says “holy shit, that’s a freaking name” when learning about the game WARNO. He is correct. That is a freaking name.
A big day with three distinct “holy shits.” My favorite holy shitter on the PC Gamer staff is Andy, who often adds some flair. “Holy dog shit” he says after learning Microsoft was acquiring Activision Blizzard.
A discussion of Korean BBQ leads Mollie to state “holy shit paying to cook your own food shouldn’t taste that good.”
And Jacob drops a HS bomb when learning the Velocity Micro Raptor Z55 gaming PC is $5000. (“$5000 is the new $2000” Alan adds.)
Imogen: “holy shit the guy who puts minecraft videos on pornhub has got back to me.” The things we do for journalism.
“Holy shit, beer o’clock” Andy says at quitting time. He then continues to work for what appears to be another 2.5 hours.
“Can we put “holy shit” before this one?” Imogen suggests when Sony announces it is buying Bungie. We did not put a holy shit in the headline. We should have.
That was a total nine holy shits just in January. We have 11 months to go. Brace yourself.
Alan says “holy shit” after seeing an advertisement on social media (now deleted, and I won’t repost it here) by a game retailer which was in astoundingly poor taste. “Holy shit that’s a bad ad” agrees Jacob.
In more bad taste news, a PR blast for a game I won’t name contains some insensitive language I also won’t repeat here. Graeme reacts: “holy shit”
“Holy shit” Imogen says because Storm Eunice was ripping up the O2 Dome in London. We were all watching planes land in high winds that day, remember? But that wasn’t Imogen’s biggest holy shit of the day.
“NEOPET MERCH” she declares in our first all-caps entry of the year: “HOLY SHIT.”
It’s the day Elden Ring review scores arrived! “there are so many perfect scores holy shit” Mollie says.
Jody says “holy shit” upon seeing a (doctored) image of The Beatles wearing sweaters that spell out JRPG. “John absolutely insists Final Fantasy 6 is the best one and Paul is basic for liking Final Fantasy 7 more.”
Katie makes her first appearance on the list, saying “holy shit” upon learning EA was removing Russia from FIFA 22.
Context for Jacob’s “holy shit” on this day—some media outlets covered a story about someone paying a cam girl $20,000 to play Elden Ring with him, a story which (naturally) turned out to be fake.
Another triple today. Mollie: “holy shit they put ff14’s sastasha in ff origin.”
Andy delivers another headline suggestion: “Holy shit, Skull and Bones is actually looking for testers.” We went with “Believe it or not” for the headline instead. Another missed opportunity to get our favorite phrase in print.
Jorge watching Sony’s State of Play showcase: “holy shit that t-rex ate that guy.” I’m afraid I am not sure which game, which t-rex, or which guy he was referring to.
Mollie says “holy shit” when Nat reveals Itch.io’s Bundle for Ukraine generated $4 million in sales.
“holy shit, how??” Sarah, upon seeing that a speedrunner beat Elden Ring in under 30 minutes.
“holy shit no way” Jacob says seeing the Bundle for Ukraine was now up to $6 million. Slava Ukrani!
“holy shit is that you, great british baking show?” Lauren M. says upon seeing a 3D model of a pie.
Imogen tells us she shook hands with Tim Schafer. “Holy shit (edited)” says Andy. Unfortunately there is no way to know what was edited, the holy or the shit. It is lost to time.
“holy shit, I’m back” says Sarah after an internet outage. An animated emoji titled “partyblob” accompanies the announcement. The emoji is a blob that is attending a party.
Mollie: “holy shit spotify can actually go fuck itself” after some sort of convoluted Spotify/Roblox download situation I could probably explain but won’t.
Always nice to see a freelancer contribute to the cause: Philip Palmer says “holy shit yes” when Jorge asks if anyone is interested in the Blade Runner tabletop game.
Nat says “holy shit lmaoooo” when reminiscing about the Halo TV show’s sex scene.
Brace yourself for a big month, which begins with a “holy shit lmao” from Natalie after watching the beans scene from Life is Strange. “He really was eating those beans.”
Jorge understandably says “Holy shit” upon seeing this Sonic keyboard, mouse, and headset combo.
Nat offers another “holy shit” when Mollie shows us what an AI-art program did with “hitman agent 47 at butlins” which is some sort of UK resort, as far as I can tell.
On the same day, Mollie holy shits at Edge Magazine’s sweet June cover, which features Cuphead.
Moments later, Wes drops a holy shit at an AI depiction of “jay leno cosplaying as Geralt.”
It takes until June, but the guy who compiles this holy shit list every year (that’s me, Chris, hello) finally adds to his workload by saying “holy shit I somehow missed a game about being an animal therapist.” (The game is san Zoolin, which isn’t out yet.)
Mollie delivers an unusual one, saying “holy SHIT” over the visuals in a Forza trailer. We don’t typically see half the phrase lowercase and half-capitalized. I like it.
Natalie says “holy shit” after watching a video of Among Us characters invading Mass Effect.
Tim says “holy shit” when we see an image of the guy who claimed his AI was sentient.
Philip Palmer gives Jorge a “holy shit” over the excellent headline: This Sonic the Hedgehog-themed ‘gaming kit’ has gotta go fast into the trash. (Of course he bought it).
To close out an extremely holy shitty month, Mollie delivers several “holy shits” over the span of a week: one about the heat, one about Nonary Games being 60% off, and one about three Persona games coming to PC. She’s on a roll!
Andy: “Holy shit, were they running a blue light special at the Lens Flare Store?” after seeing Doom 3 in Unreal Engine 5.
The same day, Andy says it again after we learn New York City Emergency Management apparently aired a video about what to do after a nuclear attack. A summary: get inside and take a shower. I feel much safer already.
Roblox removes the “oof” sound. Mollie: “holy shit the end of an era”
Remember Multiversus? I sorta do. Mollie: “holy shit iron giant has no right being as fun as he is”
Jorge regales us with a story about playing Lost Odyssey via Gamefly, a service that would mail you game discs. “holy shit” says Ted (italics his).
Another from Ted, seeing a cover of PC Gamer from 1995. “dark forces and mortal kombat 2 in the same issue holy shit”
Andy gets extremely excited about Windows hotkeys.
Babylon’s Fall shut down after a mere 194 days. “Holy shit” says Mollie, before writing a news story about it that unfortunately did not contain the words “holy shit.”
EVGA straight-up stops making GPUs. Wow. Or, as Jorge put it: “holy shit”
Kiddie MMO Wizard101 got hacked and profane notifications (like “dick and balls”) were added, resulting in a “holy shit” from Ted.
Andy says “Holy shit this is huge” to Ted regarding his excellent (and huge) story about a third-party QA company.
“Holy shit this kinda rocks” Ted says of a device that lets you play Game Boy cartridges on your Steam Deck.
There was some vaguely game-related NFT announcement I won’t specify because I can’t because the tweet was deleted. But Tim declared “Holy shit it looks so fucking weak” which can honestly be said about just about every vaguely game-related NFT announcement.
We have a “Meet the Team” page on PC Gamer which people probably only visit when they want to send us hate mail, but for some reason the portraits of both Josh Lloyd and Joshua Wolens were huge, basically taking up the entire width of the page.
Mollie: “holy shit the bayo 3 reviews“
I can dimly recall a blessed period of time where Elon Musk wasn’t the topic of daily chatter. I think this is where that era ended. “holy shit lmao” Ted says when we learned Musk became “sole director” of Twitter.
Giant balls roll through London, continuing the trend of weird shit happening in the UK. “Holy shit” says Imogen, continuing her trend of reacting to weird shit happening in London by saying “holy shit.”
I love PC Gamer staff member lore, and I don’t think any staffer has as much lore as Fraser. Today we learn he worked for a mobile telecom company 20 years ago but somehow still gets a discount on his phone contract. “holy shit nice” Mollie says.
Andy, reacting to a number of people impersonating the Pope on Twitter due to the whole stupid Twitter verified fiasco.
The bible launches on Steam. Many jokes are made in Slack. “holy shit guys” says Katie. “y’all are going to hell.” Undoubtedly true.
“holy shit lol” says Morgan upon seeing the clusterfuck of a store page Hitman 3 has on Steam.
Andy holy shits because Valve is giving away one Steam Deck per minute during The Game Awards.
Needless to say, our Slack was delighted by Al Pacino’s never-ending introduction and Christopher Judge’s even-more-never-ending speech at The Game Awards. There was only one “holy shit” though, by me (Chris again, hello).
To close out the year, one last one from Mollie. While I try to avoid meta uses of “holy shit” (such as discussions of this article in Slack) I’ll include this final one from Mollie, who said simply “man i say holy shit a lot wtf.”